TMNT 2012: As Fragile As Glass
by Momo-Flying-Lemur
Summary: "Leo...Leonardo." Who was this Leonardo and why did he keep whimpering his name as he lie curled up in his freezing metallic cell? With no memories to speak of this rebellious turtle must fight to stay alive having been captured. His captor Bishop. What will become of the turtle with no memories? Inquire within! :D {{Warning: T-cest}} {{I failed to not like it.}} {{No regrets.}}
1. Ch 1: Mirror

_**{{ Author's note: I will not be accepting any flames from anyone who dislikes/hates t-cest. Now I told you all long ago I'd never do these types of stories. However, being the yaoi fangirl I am the temptation was already there and I kind of just fell into the t-cesting fandom. Of which I have no regrets. If t-cest is not your cup of tea then I suggest you locate the exit button and GTFO before I ruin your childhood. Don't worry though there shall not be any mature rated scenes but there might be kisses and cuddles. Sorry t-cestor fans who like hard core sexy times. I'm too paranoid to write that kind of stuff on here, so fluff it is.}}**_

As Fragile As Glass Ch 1: Mirror

Place: Unknown

Date: Unknown

Time: Unknown

**"I'm going to break you."** A blinding light was burning into the cores of his eyes. Tight straps around his wrists and ankles were biting into his flesh. Something heavy and uncomfortable was resting upon the top of his chest.

A boot. The heel of the boot dug down into his chest and his breaths came out strained and heavy. The owner of said boot was looking down at him with a psychotic smirk settled upon his facial features. His black shades gleamed and he laughed wickedly.

**"What a mighty fine specimen you are. A freak of nature."** The source of light was moved so as it wasn't glaring at him directly in the face any longer. Now he could clearly see his captor. He had that professional air to him, a business man if you will. His hair was short and cut flat, he donned a black suit. It seemed as though this man intended to do him harm and harm him he would.

**"Good luck with that."** The turtle hissed out under his breath, narrowing his eyes at the man. He didn't care what this man aimed to do, as soon as he could catch a break he was out of here. "And what the hell do you mean by freak of nature?"

**"So you can talk? Those purple dragons weren't lying then? Also I won't need any luck, friend. Ah how rude of me, I haven't introduced myself, I am Agent John Bishop but you can call me John."** The man smiled in an almost innocent way, as if he hadn't just threatened the turtle beneath his boot.** "So now that I have introduced myself, what is your name?"**

**"Fuck off."** The turtle replied only to take in a sharp heaving and pained gasp for air as Bishop's boot buried itself even deeper into his plastron, making it really uncomfortable to breathe.

**"A wise guy, eh?"** Bishop hummed out in a merry little tune. **"You'd find that you will last longer if you do not act so vulgar towards me."** He warned ominously, giving the turtle an eerie and dark glare.

**"And you would find that I wouldn't be so vulgar towards you if you fucked off and removed your boot from my chest!"** The turtle snapped harshly, his voice icy and full of loathing. How the hell had he managed to get himself into this mess? Come on he had to remember…anything something. To his horror he couldn't recall anything not even his own name. His eyes went wide and he tried not to take in panicked breaths.

**"I see we are at an impasse. Very well then freak I shall remove my boot from your chest."** Bishop removed his boot from the turtle's plastron. **"It seems you have a case of amnesia, seeing you do not even remember that you are a mutant turtle."**

**"A…A mutant what now?"** The turtle heaved out as he felt his mouth go dry.** "I'm….a mutant turtle?"** He echoed the words, they were foreign to him. That was impossible right? Right? He couldn't be a freak of nature! But then just what was he? Where was he? Who was he? Why did everything hurt?

**"Correct."** Bishop had walked off only to return with a mirror, he hovered it over the restrained dark skinned creature. "See this is what you are, you are a freak a monster. You are nothing but a beast that needs to be put down, however I will have my fun first and enjoy tormenting you and performing experiments."

A wide emerald eyed stranger was staring back at him through the mirror, his mouth was wide in the shape of an 'o' parted in a silent scream. It was true he was a freak of nature he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. **"Fuck you!"** He rasped out, trying to sound tough but his voice fell flat and sounded fragile. He then felt white hot pain rattling his skull. The mirror connected with his dark green skull and shattered, slicing shards into him. He let out a horrible wail of pain.

**"Even after I took my foot off of your chest you still continue to spout vulgarities at me."** Bishop whispered making a 'tsk, tsk' noise as he waggled a finger at the mutant turtle. He discarded the empty mirror frame and then one by one and agonizingly slow he began to pull the shards of glass out of the turtle's cranium.

The turtle tensed and chomped down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from screaming. He would not give this sick bastard the pleasure of hearing him scream. He bit down so hard he could taste his own crimson blood and it filled up his mouth. He had no choice but to swallow it down or risk choking to death. Perhaps choking was a better alternative to whatever John had planned for him. Dying didn't seem so bad right now, at least if he died now he would be spared anymore agony.

However, something within him still burned like embers from a raging inferno. A will, he had an undying will to live. But why? It wasn't like there were others out there like him…right? Did he even have a family to go back to? **"Hey…John?"**

**"Ready to play nice now, turtle?"** Bishop muttered as he finally yanked the last shard of glass out of his head.

**"Do I…have a family?"**

**"No."**

The response made him ice cold and then he was left in darkness when Bishop left, turning off the light. **"I'll be back soon and then the fun can truly begin."** That was the last thing the turtle heard before he drifted off into unconsciousness his whole body felt like a battle ground of a raging war.


	2. Ch 2: Fall Back Into My Life

Ch 2: Fall Back Into My Life

Place: The Lair

Date: Dec 25th

Time: 8 P.M

**_{{ Leo's Point of View: this is going to be the only 'point of view' chapter in this whole fanfiction, the rest is going to be third person.}}_**

**_{In this chapter we see how far Leo's slipped into a depression like state. YAY FOR TORMENTING LEO :D }_**

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It's been about five years now. We looked everywhere for you little brother. But we never found any sign of you. Except for that blood stain in the alleyway and your trusty pair of twin Sai you so proudly used to fight your battles with. Sensei's health has rapidly taken a turn for the worst, ever since he pronounced you 'dead' two years ago.

He says he could no longer feel your presence. Everyone around me seems to be moving like clockwork just as I am. I've long since given up my training; I've long since stopped using my twin blades for sparring lessons. Mikey buries himself in a land of make believe where you're still here with us.

Donnie shuts himself in his lab; Casey gets into more trouble now more than ever. He's been sent to jail more times than I care to count. April has gone on to finish up college, she and Donnie skype every now and then and are in a relationship with each other. Splinter keeps to himself and meditates, though he hardly speaks with any of us unless we come to him. Your death has taken a toll on him….it's also broken me in a way I never thought it would.

Another Christmas without you….another year wasted. I'm the only one who still searches at night until I come home frozen from head to toe. Often my brothers have found me curled up in your bed whispering your name in my sleep. I miss you Raphael…..I miss you little brother.

The only thing I want for Christmas is for you to come home. That's my only wish. That's our only wish. Please little brother wherever you are…please know that even if I lectured you and was harsh to you know that I always loved you and love you still.

It's difficult to remember what you look like. I feel so ashamed it's only been five years and yet I still have a hard time remembering the shade of your skin. I still forget what color red your mask was. I still forget many things about you like what you were like…I forgot how brash and stubborn you used to be.

But the things I haven't forgotten are how caring you could be, how sensitive and affectionate. I still remember your support. You always pulled through for us and always protected us as well.

…I still haven't forgotten your emerald green eyes. They haunt my in my dreams. You have no idea little brother, you have no idea how much your absence has taken its toll on all of us. You have no idea how broken up we are without you. You were our shield…the warrior that always had our shells, the warrior who wouldn't think twice about rushing into death defying danger to save one of us.

You were and always will be the knight of the family. You were always there, despite it all to make sure we pulled through battles even if your recklessness was what got us in trouble in the first place. As of right now I'm back in your bed, cuddled under the blankets. Gifts were out of the question this year. No one was in a cheerful mood. We haven't celebrated any holiday ever since you vanished.

The guilt is tearing me apart. My heart's already shredded into bloody pieces. If only I hadn't said those things to you, if only I had gone after you sooner. If only I had apologized. If only…if only got me nowhere, it hadn't in all these five years that you were gone. It won't get me anywhere now, so why, why was that burned into my brain. That phrase: If only.

I buried my face into your pillow and breathed deeply. Your scent…your scent had long since vanished from the fabric. It was now replaced with my own scent. Peppermint. It was the sweet I loved the most.

You never really understood my liking to them, even though you tried to. You even ate a few on occasion. Sometimes you even hid the peppermint bag from me just to spite me when I pissed you off somehow.

I let out a bitter laugh and lifted my head to stare into the pictures you kept in your room. Those pictures were the only thing that allowed me to see what you looked like. Your skin was such a deep and dark shade of green. Your eyes were a captivating emerald. The picture didn't do you justice. Your eyes were so much more vivid when I could pry deep into my memories and see you for who you used to be.

I wonder what you would look like now, if you were still alive. You'd perhaps might have many battle scars, that is without any doubt. Would your eyes still maintain that lovely shade of emerald? I could only hope. My sapphire eyes had long since dulled into a cloudy gray. I walked through the years like a zombie. For the first three years until Sensei finally pronounced you 'dead' I was reckless. I fought without care, I didn't think before doing something I just did it.

I suppose we balanced each other out. I was the calm, collective and level headed one….the yang while you were the yin. You were reckless, hot tempered and foolish. When you vanished the balance fell apart and I more or less became both to fill the void. I feel closest to you when I went up every once and a while to go looking for a fight.

Sometimes I swear you're there with me, talking to me and watching out for my sorry shell when I'm battling any scum of the streets I can come across. Sometimes I hear your mocking tone of voice.

_**"What the shell was that fearless? You almost got your head chopped off. You're lucky I've got your back for you! What would you do without me around, huh?"**_

**"Fall apart."** I whispered even though I knew you wouldn't answer me. You never did, you couldn't. You were gone and there was no coming back. You were dead and it was my fault. **"Raph….Raphie….Raphie…"** I sobbed and hid my face into your pillow, clutching it tight with both hands. **"Raphie…I need you Raphie…I'm sorry. I don't hate you...I never should have said I did. Please come back…..please."**

Why….why had I shouted 'I hate you'? How dare I scream that to your face. What I meant was I hated myself for failing to get through to you. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe and now you were gone. You were dead. I failed. I was a failure. Splinter chose the worst leader for this team. Any time I went to talk with Sensei he'd give me this sympathetic look.

I don't need or want his damn sympathy. I need you…I didn't feel like the big brother I was suppose to be. I didn't feel fearless like you revered me as. I was lost…confused…broken. I was so many things I wasn't supposed to be, never supposed to be. It hurts. Shell it hurts.

I'd lay awake at night until I sobbed myself to sleep. There were now dark circles forming under my eyes and I often dozed off during the day. Once I dozed off during breakfast and cut my forehead wide open. I had to have stitches for five months.

Well I would have had them removed sooner, but I kept picking at the stitches. I wanted to bleed and feel the pain, because all I felt was numb. Feeling pain was better than feeling nothing at all.

**"_Leo…Leonardo."_**

My eyes widened. Your voice always came to me…but never this clear. Never had it been this clear before. Normally your voice was in my memories and in my dreams. But now you sounded so close. As if you were here with me. Your voice was a broken whimper.

**"Raphie…Raphie…I'm here Raphie."** I echoed your whimper, my hands growing ever tighter around your pillow. I could imagine for just a moment that I was holding you in my arms. Then there was only silence surrounding me, besides my own whimpering of your name.

You were gone again. I could no longer feel you next to me. You were always just out of reach. You went somewhere I couldn't follow. You chose death…you died and left me alone. Raphie…why?

If only I could turn back the clock. If only I could go back in time and stop our fight. If only I had told you how much I cared about you. I'm sorry Raphael. I'm sorry.

**"I miss you so much Raphael, I love you little brother."** I whispered, letting the tears slide down my cheeks, longing for the comfort of sleep. In my dreams you are there. You are there with me and you're safe and happy like you should be. Like you ought to be…like I wish you were. **"Merry Christmas Raphael…"** Those words pained me to say, they stabbed through my chest like blades but I didn't care.

I'm the only one who said Merry Christmas to you anymore. Even though you'll never hear me say it. I don't care. Someone had to do it and no one else would. So I did it. Not because I was the leader, but because I am the eldest brother and I had forgotten that.

I had been so caught up in being the leader that I forgot how to be a big brother. It was only when you disappeared was I reminded of what really and truly mattered. My family members. And now one of them was gone…you were gone.

Finally I fell asleep. You were there and everything was whole again. But I knew it wouldn't last. Soon I would wake up. But for now…for now I could allow myself to believe that you were home.

I know you always hated taking orders from me and so this is the last order I will ever give you, if only you come home: Fall back into my life.

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{{Author's note: Thank you for reading! It would be awesome if you'd drop a review! Also yes it has been five years since Raph went missing. So yeah, who knows where he is now, is he still alive? For all we know Bishop could still have him! Anyways stay tuned to find out! Next time we turn back the clock five years ago to see what exactly happened in those five years. What kind of torture Raph endured and how his family coped with him being gone! Also they all were 17 years old when Raph went missing so now they'd all be 22.}}


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